Jo's Weakness
by Up1965
Summary: Facing death in the face, Jo's mother must cope with having a severe disease that could end her life. Will she be able to survive with friends by her side?
1. Devastation and Insecurity

Author's Note:

Hi guys! This is a new story because I just got a few new ideas. Hope you like it!

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Chapter 1

Jo was outside on the porch looking at the evening sky thinking about the phone call she received from her mother two days ago. It was the most disturbing news she have ever gotten. She couldn't stop thinking about it, it devastated Jo so much. She felt so helpless and Jo had never felt that way before and knowing that just makes it that much scarier. What if the test is positive? What if this is the last year I am going to spend with my mother? What am I going to do without her? All these questions haunt her dreams as well as when she is awake. While she goes off in space thinking about what she should do next she failed to notice that Blair walked in and sat next to Jo on the porch.

"Jo are you ok?" asked Blair quietly with concern in her voice.

"Of course I am why wouldn't I be?" asked Jo without looking at Blair's face.

" Because you have been acting strange for the past two days, and I can tell when something is bothering you," said Blair with concern and compassion in her voice.

"Nothing is bothering me I am fine, just fine," Jo raised her voice a little and got up. She had to resist what she is feeling she doesn't want Blair to know how a coward she is becoming. She was so tough when she was in the Bronx she could control her feelings, so why can't she control her feelings now what is she doing wrong. As a tear rolled down Jo's face Blair got off her chair and walked behind Jo.

"What is it Jo? You know you can tell me anything," said Blair this time with more compassion in her voice then she had last time.

Jo couldn't resist anymore as one tear rolled down a new batch of tears came rolling with it. Blair put a comforting arm around Jo's shoulder. Jo didn't try to shrug it off instead she turned around looked in Blair's compassionate chestnut brown eyes, she knew that Blair was her best friend no matter how much they both tried to deny it and she let her guard down.

"My mother called me two days ago with devastating news?" Jo said while choking back tears.

"What happened Jo? What did she say?" asked Blair with concern written all over her face and in her voice.

"She said…… She said that her doctor um…. found a lump in her breast and she needs to have a biopsy to see if she has…. She has cancer," Jo lost it when she said cancer now she is crying hysterically and she sunk into Blair's arms. Blair rubbed her back and stroked her hair she couldn't believe what she heard.

After about ten minutes of this Jo calmed down and Blair motioned to the lounge chair on the porch, Jo just walked over there without saying a word, and Blair was right behind her.

"Blair I don't know what to do I am so scared and I feel so helpless. I've never felt like this before and it's so scary. I can't sleep at night, can't even think without thinking about this. How can I live without her? I don't know how? I feel like such a coward ," said Jo turning her head away from Blair's with a new batch of tears forming in her eyes. Blair put a comforting arm around her shoulder and Jo leaned into her.

"Jo it's normal to feel this way and there is no real answer to your questions. I know it's hard for you to hear this, but it's the truth you are not a coward or weak your everything but that. This is not what it means to be strong it also means that you know when you can handle this yourself or you know you need someone's help and take my word for it Jo you are the strongest person I have ever meet and I mean it." said Blair.

Jo looked up into Blair's compassionate chestnut brown eyes again and saw compassion and sorrow in them.

"Blair I don't know what to do. What am I supposed to do now?" asked Jo weakly.

"There is really nothing you can do, but be there for her," said Blair.

" How can I Blair? I can't go a minute without crying. I know I'll break down if I see my mom. For the first time in my life I feel weak. How can I be there for her if I can't be there for myself." said Jo taking her eyes off Blair.

"You just need to have faith and I am always there for you if you need me," said Blair with a smile.

Jo looked up, smiled back, and said, "Thanks Blair for everything,"

"That's what friends are for," said Blair.

"I guess everybody is worried just like you are huh?" asked Jo.

"Yeah, but they also know you need your space. You also know how stubborn I am so you know I wouldn't leave you alone. Since you are my friend it hurts me to see you this upset," Blair said.

" I don't know how to tell them. I'm scared," said Jo desperately. As she heard herself say that it rang real loud in her head. Her voice was so desperate and so out of hope she felt her whole body quince at what she just said. She never felt this helpless before and she doesn't like this feeling at all.

Blair could tell on Jo's face that she didn't like what she is feeling even though it is perfectly normal to feel what she is feeling. This brings back memories of when she had the same feeling she felt hopeless, scared, useless, and knew exactly what Jo was feeling. When her mom had the same scare, it's the same as what Jo's mom is having, and she knows that Jo's mom needs her right now. Even though her mom didn't want to admit it both of them felt better afterwards, but she also knows Jo, she doesn't like to show her feelings at all. She knows this has to be hard for Jo and very frightening for her. As she looks at her best friend all broken, lost, and unsure of herself it just doesn't fit this isn't who she is. Jo is strong, knows what she wants and not afraid to get it, confident, and always in control of her feelings, but that is not the same girl that is sitting next to her .As Blair sighs quietly and deeply she thinks to herself: their must be something she can to do help her best friend she just can't sit and do nothing. As Blair contemplates a little longer she knows that she can't handle all of this herself, she is hurting too and she can't let Jo see, she has to be strong for her. She knows that she needs help, Mrs. Garrett's help to be exact.

"Don't worry Jo I will be there every step of the way. I promise I won't leave you and, I don't mind being there with you when you tell them. Do you want me there?" asked Blair as hopeful as she could muster with a smile to go with it.

Jo looked at Blair just stared in her eyes. She knew she needed Blair right now. As much as she hated to admit it, she just did. As Jo tried to smile back through the tried tears and the sadness she felt she replied softly, "Yes, yes I do." Jo sank into Blair. Blair just held her close and just rubbed her back. This time Jo wasn't crying and their were no faint stifles or whimpers just her gathered in Blair's arms soaking every ounce of love that Blair invitingly gave.

Jo looked up at Blair, and sighs she knows that she needs Blair right now no matter how much she denies the fact.

"Don't leave me Blair. I need you right now," Jo said quietly and a little hoarse from all the crying she did earlier.

" I won't," said Blair with firm in her voice to show that she meant it, "Now I think it's time to tell them," said Blair looking at Jo.

Jo saw it in her eyes, the love, the friendship, the concern. It was all there. As many times as they fight is just as much as they care about each other. Sure they get on each others nerves but that doesn't mean they don't love and care about each other. They deny it all the time, but everybody sees them they don't believe it but it's true. Everyday she can't believe she is friends with a spoil rich girl, but there is more to Blair when it comes to the people she loves and cares for she would do anything for them and that included even when she didn't want Blair's help.

Jo swallowed the big lump in her throat and struggled the words to come out, " Yeah, I'm ready," she also struggled a smile. Blair returned her smile with her own.

Jo got up off the lounge chair and turned around to face Blair. Blair got up and looked at Jo when she smiles so does Jo. Blair held her hand out and Jo took it.

They both walked hand in hand from the porch to inside the house. As they closed the door and turned around you could see Natalie and Tootie sitting on the table doing their homework and Mrs. Garrett is sitting on the loveseat knitting. They all turned their heads when they heard Jo and Blair coming from the other room.

"Oh there you girls are. I was wondering where you went off to," said Mrs. Garrett holding her thread.

"Sorry Mrs. Garrett we were outside on the porch talking, and Jo has something to tell you," said Blair looking at Jo. Jo looked back at Blair with pleading in her eyes, but Blair just smiled a reassuring smile and a small nudge.

"Right. Um…. I think you guys should sit down for this," Jo hesitantly said. Blair could see how nervous she was and stroked her hand without anyone noticing. Blair caught Jo's gaze and gave her a reassuring smile. Mrs. Garrett saw all this so she knew something was wrong. When everyone was seated she took her place and sat on the other chair next to the couch, while Tootie and Natalie sat on the couch, Mrs. Garrett on the loveseat and Blair is standing next to Jo.

Jo breathed in deeply to get her voice steady and her heart to beat regularly. As she gathered her strength she looked at her friends and briefly reminisce about what she went through with her friends and found some strength that she needed.

" I know you guys have been worrying about me the last two days. I haven't been myself and everybody knows that. Two days ago my mother called to see how I was and to tell me something that she needed to tell me," Jo said trying to steady her voice, but the thought of her mother came into play and visions of her in the hospital holding her mother's hand came into focus. Blair saw the expression on her friends face and thought maybe it wasn't a good idea because the pain was still new and it still hurt her a lot. The girls and Mrs. Garrett saw this and, Tootie and Natalie looked at Mrs. Garrett for reinforcement.

"What is it Jo? What happened?" asked Mrs. Garrett with concern in her voice.

Jo couldn't believe she couldn't hold her feelings in, she understood with Blair it's different she is her best friend, but she always knew how to hide her feelings from Tootie and Natalie. It just isn't right she always knew how to hold her feelings back how is this time any different. She was getting very pissed off at herself how can she not control her feelings.

Everybody just stared at Jo waiting for an answer and waiting for someone to break the silence. Mrs. Garrett saw Jo's face it was mixed with fear, frustration, and sadness. She decided to ask Jo again.

"Jo what's wrong? What is it?" asked Mrs. Garrett again this time even more concerned.

Jo's eyes began to fill with tears and before they fell on to her cheeks she ran out of the room and she just ran fast as she could until she reached her bed and let it all out.

Mrs. Garrett got up off the loveseat and ran after her. When Mrs. Garrett left the room so did Blair she went into the kitchen to make herself a cup of tea. She didn't want to be in the same room with Natalie and Tootie they will ask a lot of nosy questions. To her inconvenience both Tootie and Natalie were right behind her with questioning looks on their faces.

"Um…. Blair what's going on? What happened to Jo?" asked a curious Tootie.

"Why are you asking me? I have no idea what is going on with Jo," said Blair with her back turned away from the other girls putting the kettle on the stove and turned the stove on so to not show how worried she is about Jo.

"Oh Come on Blair we know you and Jo are best friends and that you tell each other everything. We have been living with you guys for about 5 years now so your secrets out. So can you please tell us what is bothering Jo," said Natalie with concern in her voice.

Blair turned around and faced the rest of the girls. Both of them had concern and worried looks on their faces. Blair knew that they worried about Jo too, but she knew that she shouldn't tell them because it wasn't her place to say what was wrong it was Jo's place to tell them.

" I know you guess are worried too but I can't tell you what is wrong it's not my place to tell you. Jo has to be the one to tell you. I'm sorry but I can't," Blair said sympathetically.

"Oh Come on Blair we are worried about Jo too," said a disappointed Tootie.

"Tootie if you told Natalie something and you confided in her by telling her not to tell anybody. What would you say if you found out that your best friend blabbed your secret out. I just can't do that to Jo, she's my best friend I just can't," said Blair with tears filling her eyes. When she heard the kettle whistle she turned the stove off and moved the kettle.

Blair turned around back at the girls and continued with what she was saying earlier, "I know Jo and I fight a lot and we get on each others nerves but we do care about each other. I keep her secrets and she keeps mine and right now this is one of them. Right know you can help just by leaving her alone and if she wants to tell you then she will, but I won't be the one to do it," said Blair while turning around to go get a cup from the cabinet for her tea. Her eyes started to fill with tears and she didn't want the girls to see.

After a few more seconds of silence Tootie spoke, " I'm sorry I got pushy Blair but Natalie and I are just worried about her. Your right if Natalie did blab I would be heartbroken and pissed off at her. I'm sorry that I even thought about. We both now how much you guys mean to each other. I'm sorry Blair," Tootie said sympathetically with a few tears threatening to fall.

"Yeah Blair I'm sorry too," said Natalie apologetically.

At this time Blair had her tea already poured in her cup and added sugar. She turned to look at the girls again. Trying to fight the tears that were threatening to come pouring out of her eyes and onto her cheeks.

" Thanks you guys for understanding, just know that Jo's ok it has nothing to do with her. That's all I'm saying. Anyway just give Jo some time I mean you guys are her friends too. I know she would want you there to."

Natalie and Tootie gave Blair a satisfying smile and left to kitchen to return to their homework.

When Natalie and Tootie left the tears that Blair fought back come pouring down she just let them fall. All Blair could see was Jo. Not the Jo that she always knew, but the one she just saw on the porch. The one that was scared, insure, not confident, and defenseless. It actually scared Blair to see her that way because she was never, ever that way. As she took another sip from her tea all she could think about was if she couldn't get through to Jo she knew that Mrs. Garrett would.


	2. With A Little Help From Mrs Garret

Chapter 2

When Mrs. Garret reached the girls room she saw Jo laying on her bed with her face in the pillow crying. Mrs. Garrett walked behind Jo and put a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Jo tell me what's wrong. It's just me nobody is here. You know you can tell me anything so please let me know what is going on?" asked Mrs. Garrett with concern in her voice. Jo didn't respond to Mrs. Garrett she just kept crying and crying. Mrs. Garrett decided to walk on the other side of the bed and sit down. She looked at Jo and spread her arms out wide. Jo saw Mrs. Garrett do this and got up and just fell into Mrs. Garrett's warm embrace. Jo cried into Mrs. Garrett's shoulder and Mrs. Garrett rubbed Jo's back. When Jo stopped crying and all you heard were a few faint whimpers and few faint sniffles she took a hold of herself and she looked into Mrs. Garrett's gentle, concerning, and loving eyes. She knew that other than Blair she was the only one that could see her like this because she never liked to show anybody that she is weak.

" Two days ago my mother called to ask how I was doing. She told me that she went to the doctors for a check up and that the doctor found a lump in her breast and it might be cancer," Jo said quietly and slowly trying to console herself from crying anymore. She knew even if she tried she wouldn't be able to cry anymore because she basically cried herself out.

Mrs. Garrett saw the pain and fear in Jo's eyes. She couldn't believe what she just heard. She knew that Jo always hated to show her true feelings especially if it shows her weakness. Mrs. Garrett also knew that the only one that she would tell other than her was Blair which meant that's what Blair was talking about when she said that Jo had something to talk about.

" I am so sorry Jo, so very sorry. I know this must be very hard for you. I know how you hate to show any signs of weakness and I know you hate to show your true feelings. It must be hard to hold these feelings in, but you have me and you have the girls to get through this don't try to get through this alone you'll just get overwhelmed even more and that's not healthy."

"I don't know how to do that Mrs. Garrett I feel so worthless, powerless, and defenseless. I never felt weak in my whole life and I don't know what to do and it's so scary. I never thought I could feel this way I don't know what to do. You know I hate to show my feelings. I'm just not that strong enough," said Jo with a sad tone to her voice.

"Jo you're not weak at all your anything but that. Holding feelings in doesn't consider how strong you are it also means you know when you can handle things on your own and when you need help from your family and your friends. Jo nobody expects you to be superwoman you hurt, bleed, and cry just like everybody else things happen, and when those things happen you have to know that the girls and I will always be there for you no matter what. You mean everything to me Jo you are like a daughter to me, all of you girls are and when one of you girls are hurting so am I. I just can't sit back and watch and neither can your friends. As much as you hate to admit it you need them right now and you need me right now. Jo your friends are worried about you Tootie and Natalie have a right to know," said Mrs. Garrett warmly and sincerely but with a little firm tone to her voice.

" Your right Mrs. Garrett as much as I hate to admit it I need my friends right now and now I realize what being strong really means. Thanks Mrs. Garrett for everything. Wait did you just say Tootie and Natalie have a right to know. How did you know that I told Blair already?" Jo asked with a puzzled look on her face.

" Jo you know it's not a secret anymore we all know you guys are best friends and you tell each other everything. I mean I should know I brought you guys together even if you guys didn't want to and would deny even liking each other all the time. Jo other than me she is the only one that you let see your sensitive and vulnerable side. You have nothing to be ashamed about because you love Blair and care about her like a sister, it just means that you found a friend and a sister in her," said Mrs. Garrett with a smile on her face.

"Thanks Mrs. Garrett you made me feel ten times better. I guess I should talk to Tootie and Natalie it would definitely make them feel better and it would probably make me feel better too. I know it is going to be very hard getting through this, but now I know that I am lucking to get through this with my family and my wonderful friends," said Jo with a genuine smile on her face the first one since she found out about the lump in her Mom's breast.

" Lets go Jo. I will be right there with you so you don't have to worry," said Mrs. .Garrett with a reassuring tone in her voice. Mrs. Garrett smiled and Jo smiled back. They looked at each other one more time and then Jo left the room with Mrs. Garrett right behind her.

Jo walked downstairs and she found Natalie and Tootie finishing up there homework. They looked up when Mrs. Garrett and Jo came into view. Natalie and Tootie both were sharing concerned looks. Jo got a little hesitant but felt better when she looked at Mrs. Garrett and when she smiled so did Jo.

" Natalie and Tootie I am so sorry for running out on you earlier I was just very overwhelmed but after talking to Mrs. Garrett I feel better. I needed sometime to calm down long enough to tell you what happened. Ummm…. Anyway two days ago my mom called to see how I was and we talked and caught up with a few things. Well she told me that she went to the doctors and the doctor found a lump in her breast and it might be breast cancer. That's why I haven't been acting like myself lately. I just thought maybe I could handle this alone, but now I realize I can't I need my family and I need my friends support. I am sorry for not telling you earlier its just you know how I like to keep my inner feelings to myself but I realize that's not the best thing to do. I realize now I need Mrs. Garrett and you guys so I am sorry for not telling you sooner," said Jo looking down and not looking at Tootie and Natalie. Natalie and Tootie shared concerning looks with one another and they were stunned with what Jo just said, as they caught Mrs. Garrett's glance they saw the sorrow in them and knew that Jo really does need them right now.

Tootie was the first to speak, "It's alright Jo, don't worry about it we know that you would tell us what was going on in your own time. I am so sorry Jo, I know everything will be ok you just got to believe."

"Yeah, Jo you have to think positive everything will be just fine and we will be right here," said Natalie.

" I am going to get tea does anybody what tea?" asked Mrs. Garrett.

All three girls nodded in response. As Mrs. Garrett left the room and entered the kitchen she saw Blair, not the Blair you usually see, the one stuck up and so full of herself, but the one she kept hidden, the one that she only let certain people see, the side of her that is insecured and unstable.

"Blair, are you ok?" asked Mrs. Garrett with concern in her voice.

"Yeah, Mrs. Garrett," Blair said so low you could hardly hear her, she wiped the traces of tears left on her cheeks and smiled a half-hearted smile, but she knew that Mrs. Garrett would notice it right away.

"You do realize that you a real bad liar Blair, now what's the matter?" asked Mrs. Garrett.

" Well, you can't stop a girl from trying can you?" asked Blair trying to lighten the mood. Mrs. Garrett just smiled back.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Garrett. I am just very worried about Jo that's all. When I was talking to her she seemed so insecure and unsure of herself and it is just very scary. I am so used to the other Jo, the one that is tough and knows what she wants, but the girl I was talking to on the porch is not the girl I am used to. It just hurts me to see her that way. I know that's stupid but that's the way I feel.

"No, Blair that's not stupid at all. Jo is your best friend so it's jut common knowledge that you would be worried about her and that's because you care about her. That is not stupid at all. You have every right to be worried about your best friend," said Mrs. Garrett matter- of- factly.

"I am just so worried about her," Blair cracked out the words, she was on the verge of being hysterical but she tried so hard to fight the tears that was threatening to fall from behind her eyes. Her mission was defeated as the tears fell rapidly from her eyes onto her cheeks. Mrs. Garrett grabbed hold of Blair to try to help her calm down. After a few minutes of Blair crying on Mrs. Garrett's shoulder her cries subsided to just faint whimpers as Mrs. Garrett rubbed her back.

Blair looked into Mrs. Garrett's eyes and she just smiled.

"Thanks Mrs. Garrett for letting me cry. I needed that I guess I was trying to be strong to not let Jo know that I was worried about her."

"It's ok Blair I know you wanted to be the strong one, but sometimes that's hard you need someone to lean on so you can get you feelings out and when you do you can come to me, don't just wait at the last minute when you are on the verge of hysteria. It's not good for you or anybody around you if you ended up having an emotional breakdown believe me I am not in the mood of anybody else breaking down. I am as worried about Jo as you are because just like you I saw the Jo you are talking about and it's not very good at all. She will need all our help and support especially yours, so if you ever feel like that again please let me know so I can take you out of the room she doesn't need to know you are upset she'll use that as an excuse to not let us know anything and she is just going to push us away," said Mrs. Garrett calmly but also with a little stern in her voice.

"Yes, Mrs. Garrett I understand," said Blair while she was wiping away the tears from her eyes but she had a little confusion set in her tear-stained eyes and Mrs. Garrett noticed it right away.

"What?" asked Mrs. Garrett.

"What did you mean that she will need my help and support more than yours?" asked Blair confused.

"Because she is your best friend Blair she will want a lot more from you than us. Even if she doesn't show it, she will need your help most of all," said Mrs. Garrett patting Blair's back reassuringly.


End file.
